1. I miss running from the market to the Casino with Ash and Rachel.
2. I miss the night that we made smores, nearly three years ago, and promised that we would come back every year to do it again.
3. I miss that trail in Mt. Shasta.
4. I miss the "Do you know that person?" game during lunch.
5. I miss camping in Mammoth with my family.
6. I miss sleeping where I can't hear cars driving by.
7. I miss laying on the hammock reading a book and listening to Timmy and Tanner.


1. I love that I'll be seeing Ashley in 6 weeks.
2. I love the beach at night with Dasha.
3. I love riding up Skyline.
4. I love running down the horse trail.
5. I love thinking about all the things our future could be.

leftovers

Hivey-hives

I don't know what my body's problem is. I try so hard to treat it nicely, and it still gets so upset. About such inexplicable things! I can't figure it out. I ride my bike, it gets angry and hivey at me. Last night I ended up standing under the showerhead, cold water pouring all over me as angry red hives appeared, so many and so big that my body became one giant hive. Those are called plaques. My scalp was itchy, my neck, my face got so swollen that I had a double chin. Everywhere. I was freaking out, of course, I don't like being sick away from my mom and dad. Ethan ran to the gas station to get me some Benydryl while I tried to soothe my skin, which, in return, produced more hives. 'Take a deep breath,' I kept telling myself, trying to calm down before I wasn't able to breathe. Ten minutes later I'm wheezing down the hallway, towel wrapped around me as I decide to sit in the bathtub and shiver, just for two minutes relief. The red lingers on my legs, threatening to leave a tattoo in memory of our time together. Today my legs are swollen, pink, and tired. My eyes are closing while I try to stay awake enough to answer the phones and go to class. My legs look ridiculous, all balloony and tumescient. If only we could figure out what causes this!

we can hold hands,
and walk up the aisle,
smiling,
nervous,
exploding with anticipation.
we'll say our words,
we'll sing our song,
show our love, be pronounced
for all time
together.
side by side
bursting with tender love.
we'll start our lives,
we'll sing Him praise,
we'll watch the stars
and hold hands beneath the moon.

Heartfeet, Lakey-lake, Spin.

It's amazing that no matter where you are, who you are, or what you're doing, you will always mess up. And have to start over again. And again.

Write these on the insides of your eyelids.

But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to the heavens, but beat his breast and said, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner."
I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
(Luke 18:13-14)

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans.
(1 Thessalonians 4:3-8)

Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, my Soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Do not trust in Princes, in human beings, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return tot hte ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord their God. HE is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them - he remains faithful forever. He upholds the cause of the oppressed, and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind, the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, the Lord loves the righteous. The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked. The Lord reigns forever, Your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the Lord
(Psalm 146)